Living under the Law

So I sit here and consider if I am living under that Law? Am I missing out on the Christian life that Paul and John speak of? That scares me, what if I’m only living a shadow of what the Christian life is supposed to be? That verse from Hebrews also scares the shit out of me because I have done things even though I’ve known them to be wrong. I can’t believe that I have the mind of Christ. Temptations are put before me and I indulge in them. I have thoughts of envy, lust, pride etc. every day. Those are not of the mind of Christ. I can’t say that my mind is sanctified, I can’t pretend that the thoughts that go through my mind are some how pure. Is that what freedom from the law is? You just assume that your thoughts and actions are pure as Christ? Maybe you and I are very different.

"So while my conviction (faith) is a wonderful gift and gives me great confidence in all my dealings, there is a dark side that will constantly loom until the day I shed my mortal body"
I don’t get this? What is the looming dark side? Please explain how this is different from what I was saying about a sanctified spirit with an unshed cursed body.

I don’t see why you have a problem with natural law, not evolved of course but created. I gave the example of Cain saying, “am I my brothers keeper” as proof that he knew there was a guilt to hide. Adam ate from the tree of knowledge between good and evil and since then we’ve all known what’s wrong and right. Oddly it becomes these echelons: tree of knowledge, the law, faith in Christ, true freedom from the law. Why the tree of knowledge wasn’t good enough I have no idea.

This is just top of my head reaction. I still don’t see how doing good/evil is a grey issue in your eyes. I get how a heart of love allows contextual judgments within God’s will but I can’t get around the feeling that you justify all your thoughts and actions with faith that you have the mind of Christ.