What to do, Who to be

I kind of covered it in the “Sex and the Sin City” post on Jan 9th. I consider Dave and Brittany married so my opinion is that I don’t have a problem with it. Even with Jordan I think Brittany’s view was that they would eventually be married. Her perspective on sex was always in the context of a long term “married” relationship, thus the breakup with Jordan was devastating. So her natural understanding of sex was akin to the biblical perspective, which I consider unusual and very positive considering the current world view she would be constantly exposed to.

The church makes me vomit, although they always have a point. But is the point worth listening to in the monstrously ugly context that comes with it. Jesus says the Pharisees made their disciples more fit for hell than before and I think the church in general is doing the same. The no sex before marriage is the law for the church. Might as well be one of the ten commandments. And if you think you’re following them you’re heading in the wrong direction. As well, if anyone is hanging their hat on the fact they haven’t had sex before marriage, they better check twice because there’s no coat racks in heaven.

I do have a relatively “free” parenting style, but as you know, there were limits in the strangest places and you never knew where you’d run into them. For that matter nor did I. I believe it was righteous indignation which has no rules but crops it’s head up when necessary. Of course that’s all mixed up in who I am so is no doubt tainted to a certain degree.

I totally believe in leading by example. I never focus on the result only on my direction. Not that I ignore what is happening around me and don’t accurately assess my part in all that is playing out. I just be careful not to let the impact determine the direction in a wrong way.

If I start to spout what I think you should do, and you begin to do it because I’ve said it then I think I’ve done some damage. I think it’s best to describe my overview, (testimony) then a person can take from that what they want. Kind of like speaking in parables. And I think a parable is an overview, focused on context, not content. I strongly think Jesus is not that big on detailed directives. And when he is there’s no doubt. He wants us to have his mind, then we will do his perfect will, and it will be seamless.

I think I had a difficult yet wonderful time raising children because the kingdom perspectives were brought to bear on the “natural” child rearing methods. Children are raised under “the law” but I was free from the law. So there were rules for children but at a certain point they’re on their own to decide for themselves what they want out of life. The only exception is if it impinged on my world, then I was “given” the opportunity to respond accordingly. So if you asked me what I thought then I would tell you I thought sex should be in the context of a marriage. If you took someone downstairs and screwed them, as long as it wasn’t in my face, that was up to you. I don’t consider myself an accomplice even though it took place in my home. Not unlike Jesus treating Judas as a friend although he was a thief, liar and ultimate betrayer. I don’t have to answer for anyone except myself. If you’re having sex with someone then in my view you were way past the “law” age. There is only a very short period where you guys were switching over and rejected our (my) directives when I still believe I’m accountable for your actions.

Yours and Jenn’s statements to Brit did make there way to my ears. Brit was very hurt by them because she can’t appropriate the context they’re being given in. And I do think they ignore the context of her life and soul. Just some rules tossed out that means she’s a very bad person and her and Dave will both be going to hell. Happy marriage though. Who would want to accept that? Not that I haven’t delivered the same message in my heyday. But things are what they are.

Perhaps this was my reference to “I know where you’re heading”. I see myself in what you and Jenn say. It’s a huge struggle to see the kingdom and the world as they are and relate to both appropriately. If I was a world ruler I would enforce the 10 commandments and much more with an unflinching strictness. In the kingdom I would do zip because everyone has the spirit to guide them. The more you/I discover about these realities the way we relate to them changes dramatically. Lots more to learn.